Unflinching retardation

I keep telling myself i wouldnt do it, not for a long while, or at least not till i get home.

It feels like ants have replaced my arm hair, and my eyebrows are truning against me for subjecting my pinky nail to mine for green gold up my right nostril.

Damn, what to do....

I pace a bit, trying to capture a hint of decorum, rationally and logicaly spining on my heels for another 180 degree turn thinking this is how Scruge McDuck did this thinking... a constant posture and flow, mind and body both traversing though and sensless oblivion. Actualy now that i think about it Scruge McDuck didn't pace left and right, he paced on a circle, to the point that the floor was discolored, and earth bleed through. I guess that is a visual aid to show how much the rich worrie of keeping their wealth, but bolocks to that, back to the situation at hand.

I think about timing, the importance of it, how it can sway a key decision, or destroy a mouth full of teeth, but timing is nothing if there is a countdown, then it becomes more of assesing damages, and least resistance.

Resistance.

I pictue a wind tunnel, with light mist blowing against a fancy new car, showing how aero dynamic it is to its possible owners.

Loosing my train of thought, i forget what it was i was worried about... something to do with waiting, something to deal with dicipline.... I guess the best way of dealing with a problem with dicipline/waiting is to forget about the issue and not think/lurk on its appeal huh?

Never say Farewell unless you Mean it

On a ruteen day posted in this slave like industry we call hotel hospitality, i was greeted with a strange almost human 'Hello'.

Its difficult working in the travel buisnes and actualy recieve such a rare gem of someone in honest need of assistance withought the hurried feel of rectile discomfort, or the feeling that brutus will be shaking your hand soon and stabing you in the back with his other.

She was a woman around the age of 40, her tight fitted leather jacket bearly holding on to close the wide revine she called a stomach, sad realy, i bet a few months ago (seeing that the jacket was still pretty new, the creases were hardly visibe of wear and tear) we was in a more healtier physique, her dyed red hair disshuveled, and eyes focused at something behined me, something not there.

It was 510pm and my shift only startd an hour and ten minutes ago, and to see a woman in a drunken state wasn't that strange, it was just that usualy people that did this sort of things travel in packs, some to look easy, and the others not so pretty but made up for it in her preditory vaccuis behaviors. But this woman... a deeper painful seceret was held inside of her skin bearly holding on, like her leather jacket, ready... no, needs to be let out.

I escorted her to her room, she walked as though the tides leader her forward almost zen like, 4 steps forward-----2 steps back--. Upon reaching the elevator, and when she felt the most safest she reveals to me the reason of her condition.

"This was the last place i saw my husband alive" she said, talking to me while staring at the wall behind me, not so talking to me but more like telling me, because there was nothng i could say.
"We were at the pool, then to our room after our visit to our daughters place.... then he started bleeding...." he nose started to leak fluid and her lips felt the strange mixture of alcohol, tears, and snot, she wipes her upper lip with her jacket sleeve trying to regroup herself. Before i could mutter a word the elevator door rang and the doors were open revealing an empty yellow toned hallway leading down a long path to her room.

"I'm sorry, i didn't mean to.... its just that, i miss him so much, it was just this December..."
In my great knowlege and wisdom the only question i can muster up was, "Are you staying in the same room, you did the last time? cuz i dont think thats healthy"
Now that i think back on it, how dumb was that? of all the insencitive things to say. She looked back at me, opening her door. Some how she gathered up enough streanght to lift up a kind smile and said "Thank you, good night".

I could only imagin what is going through in her mind, what path she's going to take, and will i ever regret of posting in the lobby are of my slave building that moment? all i know is that even if said goodby to her love 3months ago, she's still carying him with her not letting him rest.
Never say Farewell unles syou mean it.

Japan

To say a whole country/culture is ridiculus and nutts is to sound racist and horrible.

But in this case it isnt for the negative (well at least most of it).

You see Japan is a country with 2 extremes.

Serious

wild-repressed rage.

that simple. its quite strange.

Above:

Witch Nurse

Right:

Future Battle Waitress

These are 2 example of Japans take on 'Originality'

you can blatantly see the ooze of sexuality of underage girls, an image of the characters screaming "Taint my innocence with your love Wand", and excusing themselves with the idea of 'this is totaly innocent you dirty bastards!

the thing I want to address though is this.

did they just jumble a bunch of nouns together to creat characters? the pattern of Noun-Noun-Verbe?

Femail-Hose-Rider

Robot-Nurse-Server

Animal-girl-joy

man-man-play

the list goes on and on.

ever notice that the characteres are under developed but thier 'oddity' creates it for them.

I mean a Squid-Girl-Fighter? the character wrights itself right?

now if you mix it in with a.... i dont know, repressed serious typical/relatable japanes boy with a hidden perversion (i.e. nose bleed during sexualy sugestive moments) then you have a TV series that us stupid americans praise cuz the show is forgin and 'original'.

for those of you framiliar of Bridget... this should already make my point.

goodnight.

Laugh out loud Riot !

Whats in a name?
Deep in the bowels of the building i work at. Follow the lines and lines of twitchy addicted people to thier legal drug that Buckes them in the Star, you find a lanky (like a tether ball pole) tanned woman who in this twisted sea of caffine freaks and twitchy muscular distrophy convention, the supplier of this nondiscriminatory drug of brown liquid called coffie.

Like all Cafe attendants she would like to exume the 'Woman of the Night' look, compleet with a daized if not clouded stair, loose jaw (for reasons unknown) and a peculiar 3 second delay time from responding to said questions. Is this an act of pure briliance? Is the 3 second delay the time she has to translate the knowlege in her mind for meer mortals like us to understand lest are prepaired with a chizzle and stone tablets?

In this case we can deffinatly agree that God does have character and is a true eternal being due to this small example of Humor. Yes, this Supplier of Colombian Brown Blood is truly a woman of 'Lag Time' as what most Net Junkies would like to call her as if her prosesing speed is in dire need of an update. possibly still running on a floppy.

She informed me of a new housing situation near a Ballys fitness (another sexpit spot of lowself esteemed people breeding only to have poor skills in anything else remotly in perenting).
This is funny due to the fact that she moved near my Church (several blocks away) in expressing my sudden understanding of where she is moving to 6 seconds have passed and she asked if i was a Jehovas witness, in response i said "No, I'm a Christian" 3 seconds pass and in her delayed response she lifted her long lanky arm revealing a bony skelleton finger and laughs.
I then wonder, what was that about?
is she moking my beliefs? is she joking about me understanding of my salvation only by Grace? what does she know?
then through my muddled though a though popped out..... She is a Jehovas Witness, another thing she shares with my ex-girlfriend outside of the delayed response, woman of the night, and name.

Whats in a name?

Muay Thai Work Out Regiment

This is freakin ridicules!
before i was able to run/jog 5miles and light work out, but now.... sigh...

I'll have to break it down,
Monday: Run 3miles and 2 rounds of push ups

Tuesday: 3 Rounds of Jump Rope--- Hand Skills

Wednesday: 3 Rounds of Jump Rope ----Feet Skills.

Thursday: Dashes--- combos


So far i'll try this work out starting today. Friday is a no-go due to work, Sat. due to choir and sunday is church.
Odd huh?
well, I'll see how long can i continue this. the thing is that i MUST do it, weather i'm feeling it or not. Pray for me!

Emergency Gym Opus

The other day as watched the 4th episod of an anime the same as any other anime with just the difference of a robot with a scottish flare, 'Heat Guy J' i then had the sudden urge to work out.
Now, for those of you who havent seen/known me, i was once in shape. Now, this pudgy physic and round jolly attitude i then realize that i am comfortable. I am comfortable with the way i am. Is this Bad? Does that mean that i no longer want to better myself?
the sudden urge to work out increased to a point that i've started my training again.
So far i realized that i'm a lot slower, and heavier on my strikes, and my endurance is shot.
I must logicaly see the need to continue this Work Out feel, cuz i dont want to do it like anyone els flopping about the local 24 hour fitness hole, all with bad self esteem, and seceretly hate themselves. I want to do this cuz its healthy, improve my skills in the martial arts, and for the fun of it.
now if only i can believe my own words......

Bordom in the boardroom

I just finnished an 'important meeting' at work an hour ago. The meeting lasted for 2 hours. To sum it up it goes like this:
Management Loves you! we really Do! Tell us what you think and ways to improve our ways of managing so that we can serve you better!....? what? is that so? WOW.... Well cant you see its your fault and responcibility? (other suck ups then laugh with the management hoping to get their balls coddled) You do understand that pollicy dictates.... bla, bla, bla... and that EVEN if we can we cant.... Management Loves you! we really Do!....? what? one of us did what?....

And so on and so on.
all the while i was sitting there trying not to fade away to oblivion and yet attempt to keep my sanity. Note the key word "Atempt" cuz in my mind I am rather concerned about the sudden urge, half an hour ago, to alphabetise my cd collection, or ways to construct rows of tiny houses out of toenail clippings, earwax and scrote-hair. Yea that bored, so far i've been thinking up names to give the houses.

well, screw work and boff the lott of management loves you propaganda, thier payed to do this, and are forced to love you!

Alien mythology

Its kinda funny.
There is 2 viewpoints in the building of Pyramids.
1) Aliens:
Reason of this is that people think that ancient man was not smart enough and not evolved enough to creat such wonder. Hence the idea of Aliens mapping and inspireing man of creating it.

I dont blame people that think this way due to the fact that Science forces us to think of man evolving from Apes and the human mind realy was unsufisticated to understand/comprehend its own creation. As opposed today were we marvel at our creations and think that we are truly smarter than man in the past.

Science in a way created its own catch 22.
Because we were not 'Evolved' enough and that science states that we were too stupid to do something so grand, it puts its reasons to Aliens. Better believe in Science Fiction than to believe in a Religious one.

2)Man created it souly to honor itself.
This one is the 'Impossible' thing Science refuses or cant accept due to the fact that if negates its 'Evolution' theory due to the fact that the human mind has always been the same, and that in a way, we are mearly repeating history, from Pyramids, to sky scrapers, airplaines, internet. Man glorifiying its own creation.

This belief system is atributed to the Inteligent Design theory of a God creating man and that man has always been and will always be the same.

What am i trying to convey.
Is Science more 'Fantasy' than truth?
Is Believing in God more 'Solid' than what most people think?

I think we are just arrogant and marvel at our wonders today like how the Egiptians, Romans, and Renassance men, in the past.
Do note that technology only growes do to a more united/'smaller' world, and that each culture gives its 2 cents and combine other cents to creat a dollar. We borrow each others small creations already created then amplify it and make things more convenient.

Whenever Science has no answere they claim things to be BILLIONS OF BILLIONS of years. Its kinda like their Desus Machina (oddly enough meaning God of Machines).
Or is it mearly Mankind being several Centuries Old and that we are mearly repeating our mistakes, emotions, and natural tendancies.

In conclusion:
Science leades to more confusion and doesnt realy answere much outside of technology thats making us spoiled and weaker.
The Bible showes us what we've always been, and reveals to us that this world is mearly a blinkof an eye.