The problems with being lame

Its been almost a 3rd of a decade since my last post, that must mean things are going well right?  I wish it were true but to be extremely honest, i've just been lazy.  Frankly, I completely forgot about this blog, well, like a zombi out for brains, the blog is back and stickier than ever.  

There will be lots of texts about rage, perspective, frustrations, and things I find funny in a "I don't have much to say about something but here it is anyway" kind of way.  To whoever reads this blog, may the Lord take you.

Standing on the shoulders of giants.

I feel the best times to write is when there is a chemical deficiency in my system. Whether it be under intoxicated means or other types of out of the norm situations. In this case, its getting a fever of 100.02 degrees.

A new world just opened up to me, the world of constant pain and misery. Its really frustrating knowing that the things I can once do with my eyes closed is now handicapped. I’ve been fighting this by acting counter to my condition but it worsens. This reminds me of my Grandfather. In another time, with a different world I can honestly say that my grandfather could’ve been a scientist or an amazing mechanic. The man had all sorts of idea, from trying to create a helicopter by using a motorcycle engine, new inventions to eradicate rats, to the simple things like having a water pit hidden under a stage. The man was a genius. In the end of his life here on earth, at some point, he realized that a lot of his ideas and plans will never come to pass. His blue prints in creating a helicopter will never be assembled due to his deteriorated strength, his plans of creating an extension to his would with ‘green house’ heating/lighting will never come due. It must’ve been frustrating for him, and it was sad for me seeing him try and repair his Kawasaki z750 motorcycle at the back yard (a project he’s been putting on hold for 13 years) with his walker by his side and a power tool in hand. For the first time in my life I saw a once strong man, broken, hurt, and angry at me all because I told him he cant do that. A man who lived through Japanese Occupied Philippines, was apart of the moderation of his country, a man who built his home with his own 2 hands, as opposed to me and my generation of privilege and consumerism.

In all honesty, I hate what I’ve become. I truly am standing on the shoulders of giants.

Future Paradoxes

Ive been paranoid for the past few years of time travel.
Now i know i deal with 'Theoretical' bollocks, but if for some strange possibility it does happen we as a people must be prepared. Why?

Image a distant relative from the future comes to the present.
Now here' hoping that in the future, people are wiser, smarter, and far more logical that they would go back to the past to 'examine' and 'observe'.
But as time progresses, it would be an everymans vacation deal.
The average person, less in the skills of reason, can screw up the past and erasing the present future. Can this happen? Lets take a look at history shall we?

Cars: only skilled engineers were allowed to drive these vehicles that ushered the 20th century, now every spoiled 16 year old with a inheritance can plow into you because of a cellphone argument and light drinking.

Air-Planes: only the rich elite were able to fly in one of these, and even then, there was a code of conduct and process to allow a passenger in. Now, it is a terrorists ultimate weapon.

Internet: originaly used for scientists and doctors to pass on information to help save lives or push the boundaries of knowlege. Now is used to push the boundaries of Vices and created a new breed of perverts and child molesters.

The list goes on and on.
but now that i think about it, how many times has our 'present' been altered?
is there a way to monitor the time paradoxes?
The fabric of reality can only handle so much. We're already over populated as it is, all we need now is a future lonly man to go to the past for vacationing like most people here in the present visit Thailand for vacationing. There going to be screwing the gene pool.

Universal Truths

Since when did we ever break away from the path of discovering universal truths?
All current sciences are now dealing with theoretical and relative truths ( I use the word truths lightly in this cases) but with no real actual information to base current understandings as real 3 dimensional facts.

What are some universal truths you might ask?
I know, it must be difficult in an age of relative circular thinking so let me give you some examples.

Time: whether we realize it or not its existence was measured but existed beyond our understanding.
Mathematics: No matter what language, era, or culture you belong to, 1 (or any symbol of the same meaning) plus 1 equals 2.
Gravity: The understanding of the function of our planet, simply put "What comes up, must come down".

These universal truths are the very reason we have Science.
I know its boring. To most men of science, it would take their whole lives to prove a universal truth only to be disproved and corrected. Its harsh but the truth was far more greater than the individual. The understanding of the universe/surroundings and how it relates to humankind.

These days, its all theories, no one makes a real clam in fear that their 'Grants' may be revoked or ridicule. Instead, they rely heavily on pop culture. Just as long as the majority believes it, it must be true. This way of thinking is damaging and creates a society of pseudo intellectuals sitting about speaking much about nothing, only to puff up their individual egos.

Welcome the the 21st century, and i'm still waiting for my Jet pack.

Alcohol and Salt

Its safe to say that full satisfaction is an impossible goal for a human being.
All a dog wants is to be with a pack.
Cats are self sufficient to a point, all they need is a sense of security.
Birds live, and rely on nature to take care of its necessities.

Humans?
We seek and search, looking, hunting, and once we obtain the very thing we seek, we toss it about and pursue something else. Whether it being something of noble cause, or selfish yearning, we destroy ourselves just to please our 'needs' our yearnings.

What i write is nothing new, its trivial and has been talked about since the dawn of human intellect. Is the human mind evolved since the days of Rome? Egypt? or event the days of Abraham?
Can we honestly say that were so much more 'enlightened' than Thomas Jefferson or Solomon?
The more you focus on humanity the more you understand that we are exactly the same people, nothings changed, just technology. Technology to make things more efficient for us to destroy ourselves for the sake of pleasure.

Am i just a number of human existence? Do I simply repeat the typical traits of human nature? What I think is original and fun is nothing more than a pre-set culture, what i think is random and spontaneous has a genre to describe it. My eclectic knowledge and intelligence has a graph to measure it, and my health and abilities have a triangle to maintain it.

I am in the world system.
In that system i am a failure.
In that system i am insignificant.
In that system i am average depending on what culture/genre/measure/triangle you clump me in.

I am never filled, i am never happy.
Happiness is nothing more that short victories, small pieces of pleasures, in a field full of jagged knives laced in shit.

The very thing that keeps me in existence in this field of biological waist is Alcohol and Salt to de-contaminate and heal the wounds to continue this quest for pleasures that will never come, pleasures that will never fill, and pleasures that are never certain.

Nothing is ever easy for a Random Magnet

Just when you think things are going one way something occurs to you without your notice till its too late.
This year, I've went through 3 positions at my working place thinking that my medical insurance transferred over properly but due to the idiocy of human error things are now all balls. Not only do i have no Insurance, but its guaranteed that I wont have insurance for the whole year of 09.

Now I'd like to think that I am a pillar of strength and that the need to go to the doctors are usually reserved for things that good ol Robitussin cant handle. Its just the safety net of knowing I'm covered and for those random moments of adventuring, if in case i get into an argument with a grizzly or my damned body decides to give out.

I guess its never easy in the life of me huh? Ideally this shouldn't even be a problem and everything goes off smoothly like a fine planned vacation as oppose to buying a used car then discovering random things wrong with it. Yea, that's whats going on, I'm a Random Magnet.

The Japanese Conspiracy

Its finally done.
Ever since the Empire collapsed and was overrun by commercialism the Japs slowly laid waist to the American cultural ideals by smart business savvy techniques that only Minamoto Musashi could have have dreamed of in his 'Book of 5 Rings'.
The technological reliance with its cars, electronics, and women are the "Trinity of Triumph" for the once Fallen "Rising Sun".

One of their long term goals have finally reached its fruition.
It idea that "Smaller is Better" and the whole "On the Go" mentality.
From the American sized Cellular Phones being the size of a brick to the now popular Thin and Efficient Asian phones are being the norm.
Same goes to the vehicles.
American mentality is if the damned truck don't fit you force it in the damned parking spot, Americans are entitled to that understanding that your gas saving efficiency and logic minded vehicle are subjected to their behemoths with its 1 passenger as opposed to your Prius's fitting 4 people comfortably.
Yes these slick Japs are turning the tides on popular products and cornering the market with using the Logic of "This is what you really need" and "Anything more would hurt the delicate leather of your wallets".
Damn them, as Americans I say that we should counter attack there logic with random fits of unproven American gossip and unsettling masculinity.
They may be great at proving us wrong but were great at not noticing.

Let our unrealistic expectations be the judge of this new age idea of "What Works".
To counter the Asian ideas of being 'Just Right' for the people, lets buy anything that bulks us up and heighten the standers of sizes to keep the damned yellow wolves at bay.

AMERICA!

Russians Dont Like.....

In this new spire i call work, I've meet some interesting people.
Unlike the last workplace I slaved for, the makeup of the workers here are more European, and eastern European. The very ideas that i am now working with this culture has been a great opportunity to learn from them, observe our differences and likenesses. Its peeked all my scientific muscles and I've been silently observing the small noticeable differences between our cultures.

I have my own ideas as to how the majority of their traditions and ideals have been influenced. Sure the 'Cold War' and Stalin were key factors in creating ripples to current day society, but i think it goes deeper than this. So far my Hypothesis is that Rasputin's bearded threads still holds eerily close to every Russians and near Russian territories, possibly due to his Sex Cults and his love for taking bullet shots, his blood (being spilled all over the country) must be some pathogen that gives them the penchant for aggressive gene that most of their women hold today.

But enough about their History and their perpetual state of A-sexual mutations (like a frog) and focus on the current state of those Nuke loving Kalashnikov, in this new segment I'll be so happy to title "Russians Don't Like...."

Affinity for Infinity

A homeless man approached me the other day.
He asked for something i couldn't decipher through his dry, chapped skin lips and words that started with F*ck. This man must be a fan of the German language.

Whatever he did ask me I simply (as do most average to do debt drowning citizen) lifted my hand looked at him the best remorseful way possible and apologized for wasting my time. My hand was opened wide, as if i was some kind of magician showing the audience that nothing was in my hands.

To my surprise the hobo reached for my hand, In my shock i stood there not knowing what to do. The feelings and questions started to dart through my mind.

Whats he going to do?-I hope that sticky feeling on his hand is ketchup- I'll hold my breath so that i couldn't inhale his Oder-His teeth looks like corn-this looks right about gay right now-how do homeless people find the best shopping carts, the ones i normally end up with in the market are lobbing and turns to the sides-and so on........

In a fraction of a second more that a thousand thoughts jolt bouncing from one side of my brain meat to the other, but what the hobo said exceeded even beyond my expectations.
He compared my hand to his, and started to laugh.
"Are you OK? whats going on?" I asked the now amused Hobo.
"F*k'n Salright" the slur king stated
"F*k'n Small Hands Small Dick" the slur king decreed as he walked off to the Powell street Bart exit waiting for someone else to marvel at his gingivitis collection in his mouth.

By that nights end I couldn't help but feel good about myself knowing i brought happiness to a homeless mans life today.

On the line of 7

Its come to my attention of how much I've been too dependent on work.

My life revolves around the hours of my operations.

Whether it be going to the Gymnasium, bible study, and or valuable random acts of entertainment, one thing always remain the same, "Let me check if I'm off that day" has become my battle cry since after High School.

Last time around I tried to screw the system of things by taking a ridicules morning shifts and set things up by fooling the damned bureaucracy that established it by leaving all my nights available. That worked for a few months only the the fat man on top figured it out and decided to have its way with my mouth.

Lock jawed and penny less i took the first Overseer how came by my way. Now... I'm back to the grueling Graveyard and Swing shifts with lesser hours but with more flexibility. So far this Overseer has been gentile and a bit too kind. What evil sins will i find hidden in this establishments mattresses i can only sit back an wait.

Till then, i keep hoping for a better tomorrow and bath in the filth of today.